PERCEPTIONS

Have you ever heard the statement, perception is everything. I have and I used to think that it was an undeniable truth! I thought that what you see is the truth and the way that others will see or react to you. I am no longer so certain.

Though my recent life changes, it has been brought to my attention, my perception and others perception differ greatly. I have also come to understand that what others see is often a complete opposite of my reality. This is why I am no longer in agreement with the previous belief in that statement.

For years, I have believed that I outwardly appeared to be a very upbeat person! I did whatever I could to present a positive outlook for the people in my life. I did everything that I could to bring a smile to the lives of the people who surrounded me. I kept my melancholy to myself. I always looked for the silver lining and kept pushing forward. There was a honest belief in the power of positivity and being optimistic!

This is how I thought people would see me. Boy was I wrong! A couple of very dear friends recently pointed this out to me. Both friends stated, “I had a dark cloud” over me. I seemed so unhappy. This completely surprised me. I had no idea that anyone saw me like this. Not that I was hiding my sadness, I just never wanted to darken anyone else’s day. I was always very happy to be in the presence of my friends and very excited that they allowed me to be a influential part of their lives. I believed that this would show through!

It took my life being turned upside down and loosing what I believed to be all I wanted to change this perception. Today, I often hear that I have changed. The clouds are gone and I seem so much more happy. I have to laugh at this because I usually feel as if I no longer have any chance of happiness! I feel like I am in the darkest days of my life and simply doing all I can to make it day by day. It is hilarious to me, that everyone sees me as having the weight of the world lifted from my shoulders. What they see is the polar opposite of how I feel. How I feel definitely has not been what I have shown!

This makes me wonder. Does anyone ever really see another? What is real and what is perceived? I ask myself these questions but, how many others even see this possibility? Life is full of questions so it is not likely that many would stop to ask these questions. After all “Seeing is believing.” That is at least what I’ve heard all my life. I did not ask until my life started falling apart. It wasn’t visible to me until all that I believe to be true was stripped away.

I am happy for those in my life who shared their perception of me because it has helped me to have a better picture of myself. Thank you to all who see me.